You know, Margaret, Nathan’s mum, was really pushing it that evening. She looked straight at Emily and said insistently, “You two have such a serious relationship now, so when are you planning the wedding then?”
Emily forced a smile and tried to pick her words carefully so she wouldn’t upset her future mother-in-law. “I don’t think it’s the right time yet,” she replied. “We’ve only been living together for a month. We should wait a bit, get to know each other better day to day. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up arguing over silly little things?”
Margaret lifted an eyebrow but kept at it. She actually liked Emily a lot more than Nathan’s last girlfriend. That one was unbearable and rude! Good thing Nathan had ditched her.
Then she switched topics but stayed sharp. “How’s things with Ethan?” she asked. “The lad’s grown up now, but still…”
Emily felt a bit warmer inside thinking about Nathan’s son. She remembered how nervous she’d been at the start, wondering how a teenager would take a new woman in the house. Would he see her as a threat, trying to replace his real mum?
“He’s wonderful,” Emily said honestly, and her smile got more genuine. “At first I was worried, of course. Thought he might be unfriendly or cautious with me. But it all worked out perfectly! He turned out to be such an open and friendly kid!”
She paused for a second, thinking back to that time Ethan came home from school, tried her pie and got all excited, saying now they’d always have proper tasty food at home.
“Even more,” she went on with a little smile, “he was really pleased that someone better at cooking than his dad would be sorting the meals. Sometimes he even asks me to teach him a few recipes.”
Nathan had been quiet listening but then he looked up and gave a quick nod, backing up what Emily said. You could see a tiny smile on his face, like he was glad things were going so well between his son and Emily.
Margaret came back with a hint. “He hasn’t asked for a little brother yet?”
Nathan winced and shot her a quick look like “why are you bringing that up again?” He knew his mum’s ways, always diving into the most delicate stuff without thinking how awkward it might feel for everyone else.
“What’s the problem with that?” Margaret said, not bothered at all, keeping her voice cheerful and a bit playful, like it was just normal chat. “Ethan loves kids, he’s always messing about with his cousins. And you’re only thirty-five, you’ll have time to bring up a couple of little ones!”
Emily felt this wave of awkwardness inside. It was uncomfortable having to talk about something so personal and painful with a woman she barely knew. She clenched her fingers under the table to stay calm on the outside.
“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” she said, keeping her voice steady. “Doctors strongly advise against me having children.”
The room went quiet for a moment. Margaret raised her eyebrows like she was thinking it over. Her face changed straight away, that friendly look gone, replaced by something cold and distant.
“Some women’s issues, is it?” she said with fake sympathy, but there was this hint of condescension in her tone. “Don’t despair though, medicine doesn’t stand still. What seemed impossible before gets sorted easily these days.”
Emily sighed quietly. She wanted to drop the subject but knew she couldn’t just stay silent. She glanced at Nathan hoping he’d back her up, but he just shrugged a bit like “you explain it yourself.”
“In my case it won’t work,” she said quietly, looking straight ahead. Honestly she didn’t get why she had to bare her soul to this woman she hardly knew! But staying quiet wasn’t an option either, she might get the wrong idea. “I have serious problems with my sight. They diagnosed it when I was eighteen, and I’ve had time to accept it. I won’t be having children.”
Margaret froze for a second, clearly trying to take it in. Her eyebrows went up and she looked genuinely puzzled, like she’d heard something that didn’t make sense.
“What does sight have to do with it?” she asked, tilting her head. She really didn’t see the link and even thought it was just a silly excuse. “I don’t understand.”
Emily took a deep breath, picking her words. She didn’t want to go into all the medical bits but couldn’t dodge it.
“There’s a ninety percent chance I’ll lose my sight,” she explained evenly. “That kind of strain on my body is strictly not recommended, it’s too big a risk! It’s not worth it, you know. What’s the point of having a child you might never even see?”
She stopped to let Margaret think about it. Emily adjusted her glasses nervously. She wanted her to understand this wasn’t some whim or about keeping her figure or anything. It was a real danger!
You could feel the disappointment building from Margaret. She stopped trying to chat, just threw these short looks at Emily now and then, full of clear disapproval. It was obvious this wasn’t the daughter-in-law she had in mind. She was probably picturing some healthy, strong woman who’d give her grandkids soon.
But Emily didn’t feel guilty or like she had to explain herself. She and Nathan had talked it through ages ago, weighed everything up. Chats with doctors, long nights looking stuff up, honest talks between them, all led to the same decision. The risk to her health was too high, and neither of them wanted to put her in danger. Worst case they could look at adoption or a surrogate mum later. These days it’s not that hard to sort.
When they finally got ready to head home the mood eased a bit. Margaret hugged Nathan goodbye and nodded at Emily, but there was no real warmth in it, just going through the motions. While they were putting their shoes on in the hallway Emily caught Nathan’s eye, and you could see he was silently saying “sorry.”
Outside they both breathed out with relief. The evening air felt especially fresh after that tense chat. Emily took Nathan’s hand and he squeezed her fingers back. They didn’t say a word about what happened but both knew the visit with his parents hadn’t gone well. Still, it didn’t change the main thing, their decision to stick together no matter what other people expected or thought…
Three months later.
Emily started noticing more and more that she wasn’t feeling right. At first she didn’t think much of it, just figured she was tired from work or had picked up a bug. But when it dragged on for days she began to worry.
She had this constant mild weakness, felt sick most mornings, and smells she used to like suddenly annoyed her. Emily tried to handle it herself, bought some antiviral stuff from the chemist, drank loads of water, went to bed earlier. But nothing got better. She kept getting distracted at work and by evening she’d be wiped out even though she hadn’t done anything that heavy.
One evening on the phone with her mum Emily ended up sharing how she was feeling. Her voice was a bit quiet, she still had that strange tiredness she couldn’t shake.
“Emily,” her mum asked carefully after a pause, “are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Emily was a bit surprised by that. She went quiet for a second thinking it over then answered confidently.
“Absolutely! I’ve never missed a pill. The doctor gave them to me after a full check-up, all exactly as instructed.”
Her mum didn’t argue but sounded insistent.
“Buy a test anyway, just for your own peace of mind. It’s too big a question to ignore.”
Emily wanted to say it definitely wasn’t that but something in her mum’s tone made her pause. In the end a test is quick and simple, and extra certainty never hurts.
“Alright mum. I’ll pop to the chemist now. Nathan’s at work so I’ve got time,” Emily said and hung up.
She grabbed her things quick, threw on her jacket and left the flat. The chemist in the next building was just a couple of minutes walk away. Emily went a bit faster than usual like she was trying to get ahead of her own thoughts. The same questions kept going round her head. “What if mum’s right? But how could that happen? Everything was under control…”
In the chemist she paused in front of the pregnancy tests. There were loads of different ones, different brands and types. Emily looked at the pharmacist confused then back at the shelves. She grabbed two mid-priced ones in the end, no point skimping on something like that. Paid up, stuck them in her pocket and hurried home.
Back at the flat she stopped in the hallway for a minute trying to calm the nerves. Her hands shook a bit as she got the tests out of the box. She followed the instructions and waited.
Those first minutes felt endless. Emily kept glancing at the clock then at the tests. Then two lines showed up clear and bright. She checked the second test, same thing, clear lines.
“How is this even possible?!” she said out loud, feeling this wave of confusion hit her. “This can’t be real! I was so careful!”
Right then the doorbell rang loud. Emily jumped. She checked the time, it wasn’t when anyone would usually drop by. Then she realised it was probably Ethan. He often forgot his keys when he rushed home after school.
Emily quickly chucked the tests in the bin, fixed her hair and dashed to the door. She opened it to see a slightly puffed out Ethan with his backpack on.
“Forgot your keys again?” she smiled, letting him in.
“Yeah,” Ethan nodded looking guilty, kicking off his trainers. “I was in a hurry getting ready and then realised once I was outside…”
Emily headed to the kitchen quick to sort some food for the hungry teenager. She didn’t know yet that one of the tests hadn’t made it to the bin and was just lying there on the floor…
“Nathan, I’m going to stay with my mum for a week, she’s not feeling great,” Emily said, avoiding his eyes. She hated lying to the guy she really loved but right then she just couldn’t tell him the full truth. And she couldn’t do it any other way either! You can’t risk your health, the decision was already made…
Nathan looked up from his laptop straight away, watching her with real concern.
“Do you need any help?” he said right away. “Want me to bring some medicine? Or come with you? Your mum’s on her own after all…”
Emily smiled without meaning to, warm but a bit guilty. His readiness to help was sweet but it was only making things harder now.
“Nothing’s needed yet, thanks for offering,” she answered as calmly as she could. “If anything comes up I’ll call.”
She turned away and carried on packing a small bag in a hurry. Jumper, couple of jeans, a few tops, underwear, toothbrush… The minutes were ticking in her head, less than an hour till the last bus to the next town and she still had to get to the station. Her mum had promised to meet her there which helped a bit, someone who’d understand and not ask loads of questions.
“Stay in touch alright? Call straight away if you need anything. I can come over any time.”
“Of course,” Emily nodded, leaning against him for a second. “I’ll be back soon. You won’t even have time to miss me.”
The trip to the station felt like a blur. She kept checking her phone to see if Nathan had texted or if her mum was calling. Her thoughts were all over but she kept the plan clear in her head: get there, sort things out, come back. Then later once it all settled she’d talk to Nathan properly, honestly, no half truths.
The next day Emily went to a private clinic. She’d booked ahead online, picked the doctor from reviews, tried to set it all up so no one would ask extra questions. The appointment was quick and straightforward, check-up, tests, scan. The doctor was a middle-aged woman with a calm voice. She looked over the results carefully, checked the dates, went over the history again.
“Yes, you’re pregnant,” she confirmed at last. “It’s early, about five or six weeks.”
Emily nodded without saying anything. Deep down she still had a tiny hope it was a mistake, the tests were wrong, something mixed up. But now it was clear.
“But I was taking the pills! How could this happen?” her voice shook, full of confusion and barely held back worry. How on earth? She’d followed the instructions exactly!
The doctor tilted her head a bit. She didn’t rush to answer, first she tidied the papers on her desk then looked up.
“Perhaps the medication wasn’t good quality,” she suggested in a professional way. “Or there were factors that made it less effective, like taking antibiotics or other drugs at the same time, missing doses, stomach issues. It happens though it’s rare.”
She paused, watching Emily’s reaction, then went on gently.
“From what I understand you’re not planning to continue with the pregnancy?”
Emily closed her eyes for a moment. She’d asked herself that question so many times over the last few days. She remembered the doctors’ warnings from years back about the risk that was still there. She took a deep breath and answered trying to sound firm.
“The risk of going blind is nine to one. What do you think, can I take that step?”
The doctor nodded understanding. She’d already checked Emily’s notes and knew the risk was real. In this situation the choice was the right one.
“I understand,” she said softly. “This is a big decision and you have every right to make it based on your health. I’ll write out some test referrals now. They’ll help us assess things better and pick the best next steps.”
She turned to the computer, typed quickly then printed a few forms. She folded them neatly and handed them over.
“Come back tomorrow for a follow-up. We’ll have the results by then and can talk about what to do next. If you have questions or anything worries you, call the clinic and they’ll put you through to me.”
Emily took the papers and smoothed them out without thinking. Her head was still spinning but things felt a bit more organised now. She thanked the doctor with a quick nod and stood up slowly. In the corridor she stopped for a second leaning on the wall, breathed in deep and out. Tomorrow would be a new day and another stage in this tough situation…
“Emily!” Nathan said excitedly down the phone, his voice so lively that Emily tensed up straight away. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Emily felt everything inside tighten. She gripped the phone trying to stop the sudden shake.
“Tell you what?” she asked warily, keeping her voice even. In her head she thought “Has he found out? But how?”
“That you’re pregnant!” Nathan said with real joy. He sounded so thrilled like he was already picturing their future.
Emily closed her eyes for a second to get her thoughts together.
“What makes you think that?” she answered trying to stay calm even though her heart was racing.
“I found a test with two lines on the floor,” Nathan explained, no doubt or worry in his voice, just pure excitement. “I’ve already booked you in with a great specialist. Shall we go to the appointment together? I want to be there and support you.”
Emily took a deep breath picking her words. She needed to cool him down without hurting him.
“Don’t get too excited yet,” she said gently but firmly. “It’s probably a mistake. You know I’m taking the pills. Everything was exactly as instructed, no missed doses. This can’t be true.”
There was a pause on the line. Emily could almost feel Nathan trying to process it.
“Well about that…” he hesitated at last, sounding a bit embarrassed. “You see mum came round recently. She saw your pills and started telling me your condition isn’t that serious a problem. Said lots of people have kids with much worse issues and it all works out. Gave examples of people she knows, talked about modern ways of handling pregnancy… She was so keen on it that… well I went along with her.”
Nathan went quiet like he was waiting for a reaction. Emily listened without saying anything, feeling all these mixed emotions. On one hand she got that he just wanted to believe it could be okay. On the other it annoyed her that someone was sticking their nose in their private life and deciding for her.
“Are you saying she talked you into slipping something into my pills?” she asked evenly though she was boiling inside.
“No of course not!” Nathan said quickly. “Nothing like that. It’s just she convinced me not to stick so strictly to the instructions. That we could try taking a chance. I didn’t think it would lead to this. I’m sorry.”
Emily felt a cold shiver down her back. Words stuck in her throat and she barely got out the question.
“What exactly did you do?”
Nathan looked down nervously gripping the table edge. He was clearly uncomfortable but he pulled himself together and spoke.
“I… accidentally dropped your bottle and the pills went everywhere. Then I thought maybe it’s a sign? So I swapped them for vitamins. I wanted us to have a child. Mum convinced me everything would be fine…”
Emily froze trying to take in what she’d heard. It didn’t make sense that someone she loved could do that. She’d explained so many times how important it was to take those pills every day, what even one miss could mean, what the consequences might be…
“Are you serious?!” her voice shook. She clenched her fists feeling anger rise up. “You did this on purpose? Listened to your mum and swapped the medicine?”
Nathan shifted awkwardly like he was looking for a way out.
“I thought it would be better for our family…” he said quietly not looking up.
“For the family?!” Emily couldn’t hold back anymore. Her voice shook with anger but she tried to speak clearly so he’d get how serious it was. “You didn’t even talk to me about it! You knew my diagnosis, knew the risks, and you still did this behind my back!”
She paused trying to stop her hands shaking. Her head was pounding and thoughts were a mess but one thing was clear, she couldn’t keep talking right now.
“I just wanted kids…” Nathan tried to explain, sounding almost pleading. “I thought we could handle it all together.”
Emily breathed deep trying to calm down. She needed time to think it through properly.
“I can’t talk about this now,” she said more steadily though she was still upset inside. “Can you come the day after tomorrow? Meet me in the park at midday?”
“Of course I’ll come!” Nathan said straight away, sounding hopeful again. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine!”
Emily didn’t argue or explain. She just needed to end the call.
“See you then,” she said shortly and hung up.
Emily was fuming! Nathan’s words kept going round in her head about how he’d “accidentally” dropped the bottle then deliberately swapped the important pills for vitamins. He knew all the risks, all the years of doctors’ warnings about how critical it was for her health not to miss those pills. But he’d rather believe his mum who had no medical background but was sure “it’ll all be fine.”
That thought burned inside. How could he take her health and her life so lightly? Emily knew with that kind of attitude to basic things like trust, respect and care, they had no chance. And the day after tomorrow she was planning to tell him exactly that.
On the day Nathan got to the park half an hour early. He’d bought a bunch of white roses, her favourites, and was nervously shifting about at the entrance checking the time every now and then. He had this hope in his chest, maybe Emily had just been worried and now they’d talk it out and he’d explain he meant well. He pictured her taking the flowers, her look softening, them deciding together what to do next.
But when Emily showed up right at midday arm in arm with her brother her face was cold and closed off. She didn’t even look at the flowers Nathan held out. Instead she pulled a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to him without a word.
“What’s this? I don’t get it,” Nathan said confused, thrown by her icy tone. He tried to catch her eye but Emily was looking away.
“It means there won’t be a child,” she said coldly. “You knew about my diagnosis. You knew and you still put my health at risk by listening to your mum. I’ll never forgive this! I’ll come for my things tomorrow. And I won’t be on my own, I’ll bring my brother to avoid any issues.”
She turned and walked off without waiting. Nathan stepped after her calling out.
“Emily, wait! Let’s talk!”
She didn’t turn, just walked faster. He rushed after her but her brother Ben stepped in the way. Ben stood firm, feet planted, looking at Nathan with no sympathy at all. His stance said clear as day “don’t even think about following her.”
Nathan tried to go round but Ben kept him back, hand out a bit.
“You’re lying about everything!” Nathan shouted, his voice shaking with anger and desperation. He felt everything slipping away, the future he’d imagined just disappearing. “I talked to doctors specially! They said with modern medicine the risks are tiny! You just don’t want a child, that’s why you’re making excuses!”
Emily turned round slowly. Her face was pale but she stayed calm, almost distant. No tears, just this solid determination she’d been building up.
“You went to doctors without me? Talked about my health with strangers?” she said quietly but every word hit hard. “Do you even know my exact diagnosis? Or did you just go in and say my fiancée might go blind or something?”
Nathan flinched. He hadn’t expected that question, he thought his reasons would make sense and Emily would get it. He clenched his fists trying to think.
“I was thinking about our future! About family!” his voice was tense but sincere. “You said yourself you were open to adoption or surrogacy. So why not give our own child a chance?”
Emily breathed deep. Pain showed in her eyes for a second, the kind she’d been hiding behind that cold front.
“Because this isn’t a game Nathan!” real feeling came through in her voice now. “This is my life, my body, my sight. Do you even understand I could go blind? That I’d be helpless, couldn’t work or look after myself? Did you think about what it’s like living in constant darkness?”
She stopped to let him take it in but he’d already opened his mouth to argue.
“But the doctors said…”
“What doctors?!” she cut in sharply, bitterness in her voice. “The ones you went to in secret? Did you even ask them about the actual stats on complications? Real cases? Do you know how many women lose their sight during pregnancy with my condition? No you just heard what you wanted to hear!”
Nathan went quiet. His eyes were still full of hurt but something else was there now, a vague sense he might have messed up badly.
“You betrayed my trust,” Emily went on quieter but just as firm. “You knew how important those pills were to me. You knew I’d spent years learning to live with this diagnosis, accepting it… And you just wiped it all out with one thing.”
Ben stepped closer then. You could tell he was itching to teach the guy a lesson but he held back because Emily had asked him to.
“I don’t want anything to do with you!” Emily stood tall, her voice cold and even again. “I don’t want to be worried every day that you’ll pull another stunt like this!”
Nathan opened his mouth but nothing came out. He looked at her trying to find even a bit of doubt or a chance to fix it. But there was just cold and contempt…
Emily turned and walked away. Nathan wanted to call after her but couldn’t. He stood watching her figure fade into the evening light. Ben walked beside her, quiet and steady like he was protecting her peace.
When they were out of sight Nathan sat down on the nearest bench. He was still holding the bunch of white roses, never given, never taken…
He looked at the soft petals and realised for the first time that he’d lost not just the child he’d wanted so much. He’d lost the woman he loved.
One thought kept hitting him: “What if she was right?” But it was already too late.You know, Margaret, Nathan’s mum, was really pushing it that evening. She looked straight at Emily and said insistently, “You two have such a serious relationship now, so when are you planning the wedding then?”
Emily forced a smile and tried to pick her words carefully so she wouldn’t upset her future mother-in-law. “I don’t think it’s the right time yet,” she replied. “We’ve only been living together for a month. We should wait a bit, get to know each other better day to day. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up arguing over silly little things?”
Margaret lifted an eyebrow but kept at it. She actually liked Emily a lot more than Nathan’s last girlfriend. That one was unbearable and rude! Good thing Nathan had ditched her.
Then she switched topics but stayed sharp. “How’s things with Ethan?” she asked. “The lad’s grown up now, but still…”
Emily felt a bit warmer inside thinking about Nathan’s son. She remembered how nervous she’d been at the start, wondering how a teenager would take a new woman in the house. Would he see her as a threat, trying to replace his real mum?
“He’s wonderful,” Emily said honestly, and her smile got more genuine. “At first I was worried, of course. Thought he might be unfriendly or cautious with me. But it all worked out perfectly! He turned out to be such an open and friendly kid!”
She paused for a second, thinking back to that time Ethan came home from school, tried her pie and got all excited, saying now they’d always have proper tasty food at home.
“Even more,” she went on with a little smile, “he was really pleased that someone better at cooking than his dad would be sorting the meals. Sometimes he even asks me to teach him a few recipes.”
Nathan had been quiet listening but then he looked up and gave a quick nod, backing up what Emily said. You could see a tiny smile on his face, like he was glad things were going so well between his son and Emily.
Margaret came back with a hint. “He hasn’t asked for a little brother yet?”
Nathan winced and shot her a quick look like “why are you bringing that up again?” He knew his mum’s ways, always diving into the most delicate stuff without thinking how awkward it might feel for everyone else.
“What’s the problem with that?” Margaret said, not bothered at all, keeping her voice cheerful and a bit playful, like it was just normal chat. “Ethan loves kids, he’s always messing about with his cousins. And you’re only thirty-five, you’ll have time to bring up a couple of little ones!”
Emily felt this wave of awkwardness inside. It was uncomfortable having to talk about something so personal and painful with a woman she barely knew. She clenched her fingers under the table to stay calm on the outside.
“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” she said, keeping her voice steady. “Doctors strongly advise against me having children.”
The room went quiet for a moment. Margaret raised her eyebrows like she was thinking it over. Her face changed straight away, that friendly look gone, replaced by something cold and distant.
“Some women’s issues, is it?” she said with fake sympathy, but there was this hint of condescension in her tone. “Don’t despair though, medicine doesn’t stand still. What seemed impossible before gets sorted easily these days.”
Emily sighed quietly. She wanted to drop the subject but knew she couldn’t just stay silent. She glanced at Nathan hoping he’d back her up, but he just shrugged a bit like “you explain it yourself.”
“In my case it won’t work,” she said quietly, looking straight ahead. Honestly she didn’t get why she had to bare her soul to this woman she hardly knew! But staying quiet wasn’t an option either, she might get the wrong idea. “I have serious problems with my sight. They diagnosed it when I was eighteen, and I’ve had time to accept it. I won’t be having children.”
Margaret froze for a second, clearly trying to take it in. Her eyebrows went up and she looked genuinely puzzled, like she’d heard something that didn’t make sense.
“What does sight have to do with it?” she asked, tilting her head. She really didn’t see the link and even thought it was just a silly excuse. “I don’t understand.”
Emily took a deep breath, picking her words. She didn’t want to go into all the medical bits but couldn’t dodge it.
“There’s a ninety percent chance I’ll lose my sight,” she explained evenly. “That kind of strain on my body is strictly not recommended, it’s too big a risk! It’s not worth it, you know. What’s the point of having a child you might never even see?”
She stopped to let Margaret think about it. Emily adjusted her glasses nervously. She wanted her to understand this wasn’t some whim or about keeping her figure or anything. It was a real danger!
You could feel the disappointment building from Margaret. She stopped trying to chat, just threw these short looks at Emily now and then, full of clear disapproval. It was obvious this wasn’t the daughter-in-law she had in mind. She was probably picturing some healthy, strong woman who’d give her grandkids soon.
But Emily didn’t feel guilty or like she had to explain herself. She and Nathan had talked it through ages ago, weighed everything up. Chats with doctors, long nights looking stuff up, honest talks between them, all led to the same decision. The risk to her health was too high, and neither of them wanted to put her in danger. Worst case they could look at adoption or a surrogate mum later. These days it’s not that hard to sort.
When they finally got ready to head home the mood eased a bit. Margaret hugged Nathan goodbye and nodded at Emily, but there was no real warmth in it, just going through the motions. While they were putting their shoes on in the hallway Emily caught Nathan’s eye, and you could see he was silently saying “sorry.”
Outside they both breathed out with relief. The evening air felt especially fresh after that tense chat. Emily took Nathan’s hand and he squeezed her fingers back. They didn’t say a word about what happened but both knew the visit with his parents hadn’t gone well. Still, it didn’t change the main thing, their decision to stick together no matter what other people expected or thought…
Three months later.
Emily started noticing more and more that she wasn’t feeling right. At first she didn’t think much of it, just figured she was tired from work or had picked up a bug. But when it dragged on for days she began to worry.
She had this constant mild weakness, felt sick most mornings, and smells she used to like suddenly annoyed her. Emily tried to handle it herself, bought some antiviral stuff from the chemist, drank loads of water, went to bed earlier. But nothing got better. She kept getting distracted at work and by evening she’d be wiped out even though she hadn’t done anything that heavy.
One evening on the phone with her mum Emily ended up sharing how she was feeling. Her voice was a bit quiet, she still had that strange tiredness she couldn’t shake.
“Emily,” her mum asked carefully after a pause, “are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Emily was a bit surprised by that. She went quiet for a second thinking it over then answered confidently.
“Absolutely! I’ve never missed a pill. The doctor gave them to me after a full check-up, all exactly as instructed.”
Her mum didn’t argue but sounded insistent.
“Buy a test anyway, just for your own peace of mind. It’s too big a question to ignore.”
Emily wanted to say it definitely wasn’t that but something in her mum’s tone made her pause. In the end a test is quick and simple, and extra certainty never hurts.
“Alright mum. I’ll pop to the chemist now. Nathan’s at work so I’ve got time,” Emily said and hung up.
She grabbed her things quick, threw on her jacket and left the flat. The chemist in the next building was just a couple of minutes walk away. Emily went a bit faster than usual like she was trying to get ahead of her own thoughts. The same questions kept going round her head. “What if mum’s right? But how could that happen? Everything was under control…”
In the chemist she paused in front of the pregnancy tests. There were loads of different ones, different brands and types. Emily looked at the pharmacist confused then back at the shelves. She grabbed two mid-priced ones in the end, no point skimping on something like that. Paid up, stuck them in her pocket and hurried home.
Back at the flat she stopped in the hallway for a minute trying to calm the nerves. Her hands shook a bit as she got the tests out of the box. She followed the instructions and waited.
Those first minutes felt endless. Emily kept glancing at the clock then at the tests. Then two lines showed up clear and bright. She checked the second test, same thing, clear lines.
“How is this even possible?!” she said out loud, feeling this wave of confusion hit her. “This can’t be real! I was so careful!”
Right then the doorbell rang loud. Emily jumped. She checked the time, it wasn’t when anyone would usually drop by. Then she realised it was probably Ethan. He often forgot his keys when he rushed home after school.
Emily quickly chucked the tests in the bin, fixed her hair and dashed to the door. She opened it to see a slightly puffed out Ethan with his backpack on.
“Forgot your keys again?” she smiled, letting him in.
“Yeah,” Ethan nodded looking guilty, kicking off his trainers. “I was in a hurry getting ready and then realised once I was outside…”
Emily headed to the kitchen quick to sort some food for the hungry teenager. She didn’t know yet that one of the tests hadn’t made it to the bin and was just lying there on the floor…
“Nathan, I’m going to stay with my mum for a week, she’s not feeling great,” Emily said, avoiding his eyes. She hated lying to the guy she really loved but right then she just couldn’t tell him the full truth. And she couldn’t do it any other way either! You can’t risk your health, the decision was already made…
Nathan looked up from his laptop straight away, watching her with real concern.
“Do you need any help?” he said right away. “Want me to bring some medicine? Or come with you? Your mum’s on her own after all…”
Emily smiled without meaning to, warm but a bit guilty. His readiness to help was sweet but it was only making things harder now.
“Nothing’s needed yet, thanks for offering,” she answered as calmly as she could. “If anything comes up I’ll call.”
She turned away and carried on packing a small bag in a hurry. Jumper, couple of jeans, a few tops, underwear, toothbrush… The minutes were ticking in her head, less than an hour till the last bus to the next town and she still had to get to the station. Her mum had promised to meet her there which helped a bit, someone who’d understand and not ask loads of questions.
“Stay in touch alright? Call straight away if you need anything. I can come over any time.”
“Of course,” Emily nodded, leaning against him for a second. “I’ll be back soon. You won’t even have time to miss me.”
The trip to the station felt like a blur. She kept checking her phone to see if Nathan had texted or if her mum was calling. Her thoughts were all over but she kept the plan clear in her head: get there, sort things out, come back. Then later once it all settled she’d talk to Nathan properly, honestly, no half truths.
The next day Emily went to a private clinic. She’d booked ahead online, picked the doctor from reviews, tried to set it all up so no one would ask extra questions. The appointment was quick and straightforward, check-up, tests, scan. The doctor was a middle-aged woman with a calm voice. She looked over the results carefully, checked the dates, went over the history again.
“Yes, you’re pregnant,” she confirmed at last. “It’s early, about five or six weeks.”
Emily nodded without saying anything. Deep down she still had a tiny hope it was a mistake, the tests were wrong, something mixed up. But now it was clear.
“But I was taking the pills! How could this happen?” her voice shook, full of confusion and barely held back worry. How on earth? She’d followed the instructions exactly!
The doctor tilted her head a bit. She didn’t rush to answer, first she tidied the papers on her desk then looked up.
“Perhaps the medication wasn’t good quality,” she suggested in a professional way. “Or there were factors that made it less effective, like taking antibiotics or other drugs at the same time, missing doses, stomach issues. It happens though it’s rare.”
She paused, watching Emily’s reaction, then went on gently.
“From what I understand you’re not planning to continue with the pregnancy?”
Emily closed her eyes for a moment. She’d asked herself that question so many times over the last few days. She remembered the doctors’ warnings from years back about the risk that was still there. She took a deep breath and answered trying to sound firm.
“The risk of going blind is nine to one. What do you think, can I take that step?”
The doctor nodded understanding. She’d already checked Emily’s notes and knew the risk was real. In this situation the choice was the right one.
“I understand,” she said softly. “This is a big decision and you have every right to make it based on your health. I’ll write out some test referrals now. They’ll help us assess things better and pick the best next steps.”
She turned to the computer, typed quickly then printed a few forms. She folded them neatly and handed them over.
“Come back tomorrow for a follow-up. We’ll have the results by then and can talk about what to do next. If you have questions or anything worries you, call the clinic and they’ll put you through to me.”
Emily took the papers and smoothed them out without thinking. Her head was still spinning but things felt a bit more organised now. She thanked the doctor with a quick nod and stood up slowly. In the corridor she stopped for a second leaning on the wall, breathed in deep and out. Tomorrow would be a new day and another stage in this tough situation…
“Emily!” Nathan said excitedly down the phone, his voice so lively that Emily tensed up straight away. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Emily felt everything inside tighten. She gripped the phone trying to stop the sudden shake.
“Tell you what?” she asked warily, keeping her voice even. In her head she thought “Has he found out? But how?”
“That you’re pregnant!” Nathan said with real joy. He sounded so thrilled like he was already picturing their future.
Emily closed her eyes for a second to get her thoughts together.
“What makes you think that?” she answered trying to stay calm even though her heart was racing.
“I found a test with two lines on the floor,” Nathan explained, no doubt or worry in his voice, just pure excitement. “I’ve already booked you in with a great specialist. Shall we go to the appointment together? I want to be there and support you.”
Emily took a deep breath picking her words. She needed to cool him down without hurting him.
“Don’t get too excited yet,” she said gently but firmly. “It’s probably a mistake. You know I’m taking the pills. Everything was exactly as instructed, no missed doses. This can’t be true.”
There was a pause on the line. Emily could almost feel Nathan trying to process it.
“Well about that…” he hesitated at last, sounding a bit embarrassed. “You see mum came round recently. She saw your pills and started telling me your condition isn’t that serious a problem. Said lots of people have kids with much worse issues and it all works out. Gave examples of people she knows, talked about modern ways of handling pregnancy… She was so keen on it that… well I went along with her.”
Nathan went quiet like he was waiting for a reaction. Emily listened without saying anything, feeling all these mixed emotions. On one hand she got that he just wanted to believe it could be okay. On the other it annoyed her that someone was sticking their nose in their private life and deciding for her.
“Are you saying she talked you into slipping something into my pills?” she asked evenly though she was boiling inside.
“No of course not!” Nathan said quickly. “Nothing like that. It’s just she convinced me not to stick so strictly to the instructions. That we could try taking a chance. I didn’t think it would lead to this. I’m sorry.”
Emily felt a cold shiver down her back. Words stuck in her throat and she barely got out the question.
“What exactly did you do?”
Nathan looked down nervously gripping the table edge. He was clearly uncomfortable but he pulled himself together and spoke.
“I… accidentally dropped your bottle and the pills went everywhere. Then I thought maybe it’s a sign? So I swapped them for vitamins. I wanted us to have a child. Mum convinced me everything would be fine…”
Emily froze trying to take in what she’d heard. It didn’t make sense that someone she loved could do that. She’d explained so many times how important it was to take those pills every day, what even one miss could mean, what the consequences might be…
“Are you serious?!” her voice shook. She clenched her fists feeling anger rise up. “You did this on purpose? Listened to your mum and swapped the medicine?”
Nathan shifted awkwardly like he was looking for a way out.
“I thought it would be better for our family…” he said quietly not looking up.
“For the family?!” Emily couldn’t hold back anymore. Her voice shook with anger but she tried to speak clearly so he’d get how serious it was. “You didn’t even talk to me about it! You knew my diagnosis, knew the risks, and you still did this behind my back!”
She paused trying to stop her hands shaking. Her head was pounding and thoughts were a mess but one thing was clear, she couldn’t keep talking right now.
“I just wanted kids…” Nathan tried to explain, sounding almost pleading. “I thought we could handle it all together.”
Emily breathed deep trying to calm down. She needed time to think it through properly.
“I can’t talk about this now,” she said more steadily though she was still upset inside. “Can you come the day after tomorrow? Meet me in the park at midday?”
“Of course I’ll come!” Nathan said straight away, sounding hopeful again. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine!”
Emily didn’t argue or explain. She just needed to end the call.
“See you then,” she said shortly and hung up.
Emily was fuming! Nathan’s words kept going round in her head about how he’d “accidentally” dropped the bottle then deliberately swapped the important pills for vitamins. He knew all the risks, all the years of doctors’ warnings about how critical it was for her health not to miss those pills. But he’d rather believe his mum who had no medical background but was sure “it’ll all be fine.”
That thought burned inside. How could he take her health and her life so lightly? Emily knew with that kind of attitude to basic things like trust, respect and care, they had no chance. And the day after tomorrow she was planning to tell him exactly that.
On the day Nathan got to the park half an hour early. He’d bought a bunch of white roses, her favourites, and was nervously shifting about at the entrance checking the time every now and then. He had this hope in his chest, maybe Emily had just been worried and now they’d talk it out and he’d explain he meant well. He pictured her taking the flowers, her look softening, them deciding together what to do next.
But when Emily showed up right at midday arm in arm with her brother her face was cold and closed off. She didn’t even look at the flowers Nathan held out. Instead she pulled a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to him without a word.
“What’s this? I don’t get it,” Nathan said confused, thrown by her icy tone. He tried to catch her eye but Emily was looking away.
“It means there won’t be a child,” she said coldly. “You knew about my diagnosis. You knew and you still put my health at risk by listening to your mum. I’ll never forgive this! I’ll come for my things tomorrow. And I won’t be on my own, I’ll bring my brother to avoid any issues.”
She turned and walked off without waiting. Nathan stepped after her calling out.
“Emily, wait! Let’s talk!”
She didn’t turn, just walked faster. He rushed after her but her brother Ben stepped in the way. Ben stood firm, feet planted, looking at Nathan with no sympathy at all. His stance said clear as day “don’t even think about following her.”
Nathan tried to go round but Ben kept him back, hand out a bit.
“You’re lying about everything!” Nathan shouted, his voice shaking with anger and desperation. He felt everything slipping away, the future he’d imagined just disappearing. “I talked to doctors specially! They said with modern medicine the risks are tiny! You just don’t want a child, that’s why you’re making excuses!”
Emily turned round slowly. Her face was pale but she stayed calm, almost distant. No tears, just this solid determination she’d been building up.
“You went to doctors without me? Talked about my health with strangers?” she said quietly but every word hit hard. “Do you even know my exact diagnosis? Or did you just go in and say my fiancée might go blind or something?”
Nathan flinched. He hadn’t expected that question, he thought his reasons would make sense and Emily would get it. He clenched his fists trying to think.
“I was thinking about our future! About family!” his voice was tense but sincere. “You said yourself you were open to adoption or surrogacy. So why not give our own child a chance?”
Emily breathed deep. Pain showed in her eyes for a second, the kind she’d been hiding behind that cold front.
“Because this isn’t a game Nathan!” real feeling came through in her voice now. “This is my life, my body, my sight. Do you even understand I could go blind? That I’d be helpless, couldn’t work or look after myself? Did you think about what it’s like living in constant darkness?”
She stopped to let him take it in but he’d already opened his mouth to argue.
“But the doctors said…”
“What doctors?!” she cut in sharply, bitterness in her voice. “The ones you went to in secret? Did you even ask them about the actual stats on complications? Real cases? Do you know how many women lose their sight during pregnancy with my condition? No you just heard what you wanted to hear!”
Nathan went quiet. His eyes were still full of hurt but something else was there now, a vague sense he might have messed up badly.
“You betrayed my trust,” Emily went on quieter but just as firm. “You knew how important those pills were to me. You knew I’d spent years learning to live with this diagnosis, accepting it… And you just wiped it all out with one thing.”
Ben stepped closer then. You could tell he was itching to teach the guy a lesson but he held back because Emily had asked him to.
“I don’t want anything to do with you!” Emily stood tall, her voice cold and even again. “I don’t want to be worried every day that you’ll pull another stunt like this!”
Nathan opened his mouth but nothing came out. He looked at her trying to find even a bit of doubt or a chance to fix it. But there was just cold and contempt…
Emily turned and walked away. Nathan wanted to call after her but couldn’t. He stood watching her figure fade into the evening light. Ben walked beside her, quiet and steady like he was protecting her peace.
When they were out of sight Nathan sat down on the nearest bench. He was still holding the bunch of white roses, never given, never taken…
He looked at the soft petals and realised for the first time that he’d lost not just the child he’d wanted so much. He’d lost the woman he loved.
One thought kept hitting him: “What if she was right?” But it was already too late.
